Policja: Różnice pomiędzy wersjami

Z Nonsensopedii, polskiej encyklopedii humoru
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M (Przywrócono przedostatnią wersję, jej autor to Artur21. Autor wycofanej wersji to 195.34.216.233.)
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[[Plik:POLICJA HANDEL PSAMI.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Policja się sprzedaje]]
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[[Plik:Policja_Rowerowa.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Policja ma wiele przywilejów...]]
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[[Plik:jpwtibi.gif|200px|right|thumb|Nawet [[CipSoft]] nie lubi policjantów]]
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{{cytat|Mamy tradycję, [[JP na 100%|jebać policję]]!|Polska tradycja kontynuowana przez [[dresiarz|elitę społeczeństwa]]}}
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{{cytat|[[CHWDP]]!|[[Dresiarz]] o '''policji'''}}
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{{cytat|Nienawiść do policji tak zostałem wychowany,ten kto z nimi trzyma na zawsze jest przegrany!|[[Hemp-Gru]] o Policji}}
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[[Plik:agentzkurnika2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Policja ma także swoich agentów na Kurniku]]
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'''Policja''' – największy zbrojny gang na świecie. Posiada ponad 100 000 członków w Polsce (więcej niż Pruszków i Wołomin razem wzięte), oraz miliony na świecie. Zazwyczaj używana do rozpędzania różnych manifestacji, np. meczu. Uzbrojeni w pałki, pistolety kaliber 9mm i gwizdki. Ich pojazdy to radiowozy, lepiej rozpoznawane pod nazwą suki. Ubrani są zazwyczaj na granatowo. W przeciwieństwie do innych gangów, oni są najbardziej rozpoznawalni, głównie przez święcący żółty napis na plecach.
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Policja znana jest z tego, że nigdy nie negocjuje z wrogiem, strzela od razu i nie wypłaca gotówki. Poza tym nie sprawdza amunicji i tak używa tylko pistoletów na [[kapiszony]]. Posiadają też koguty szkolone specjalnie do wykradania kiełbasy z kanapek kolegów. [[Policjant|Policjanci]] przeważnie się nudzą więc na komisariacie (wyłącznie z nudów) prostują banany (kolegów lub skazanych). Czynności te to rutyna wśród „policyjnej społeczności”. Jednym ze świąt policji jest Tłusty Czwartek.
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[[Policjant|Policjanci]] wykazują tendencję do spisywania obywateli za takie rzeczy, jak naplucie sąsiadowi pod drzwi, jazda po piwku na rowerku, a także obraza policjanta, który też jest pijany po korespondencji z prostytutką.
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Należy pamiętać, iż kiedy banda dresów napadnie Cię pod Mostem Królowej Jadwigi w Poznaniu, to w pobliżu nie będzie żadnego policjanta, ale kiedy w tym samym miejscu wypijesz jedno piwo, to niezwłocznie pojawi się niebieski pojazd, a cena piwa wzrośnie o 100 zł, jeżeli będziesz zbyt agresywnie przyjmował „dodatkowy paragon za piwo” stróże prawa natychmiast poproszą Cię do niebieskiej limuzyny i dadzą Ci bilet (oczywiście płatny) do hotelu z kratkami, w którym będziesz bezpieczny jak nigdy.
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Policja posiada również jedną charakterystyczną cechę, która zdecydowanie upodabnia ją do kobiety, a mianowicie mężczyźni bardzo lubią ją jebać. Można nawet rzec, że policja przewyższa kobietę atrakcyjnością, gdyż wielu mężczyzn notorycznie przypomina sobie za pomocą energicznego pokrzykiwania, że należy ją jebać.
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== Rasy psów ==
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* Niebieski mundurek z czapką – typowy krawężnik, najlepszy od wypisywania biletów, których opłatę uiszczasz najczęściej na poczcie.
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* Czarny ninja – bogatsza wersja ''mundurowego'' posiada Uzi i miecz świetlny zwany ''blondyna''.
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* Biały kask – ulubieńcy kibiców, charakteryzują się białymi nakryciami głowy oraz przeźroczystymi tarczami a'la [[Zmotoryzowane Odwody Milicji Obywatelskiej|ZOMO]], posiadają wiatrówki.
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* Biurowy – on obsmaruje pięknie Twoją kartotekę, żebyś w przyszłości był rozpoznawany.
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* Biała czapa, Drogowy - ulubieniec polskich kierowców. Stworzony do wlepiania mandacików. Stojąc przy drodze z samochodem skitranym w krzakach i czerwonym lizakiem nie do lizania! Zapraszamy do Poloneza.
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* Bez ubioru, tzn. jak zwykły człowiek - gdy ktoś będzie Cie bił, nie podejdzie. Gdy zapalisz na przystanku, pokaże Ci odznakę. Następnie narzuci dodatkową akcyzę na papierosa ( około 50-100 zł ).
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== Zobacz też ==
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* [[policjant]]
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{{stubpra}}
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[[Kategoria:Prawo]]
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[[cs:Policie]]
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[[da:Politi]]
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[[de:Polizei]]
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[[el:Αστυνομία]]
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[[en:Police]]
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[[es:Policía]]
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[[fi:Poliisi]]
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[[fr:Police]]
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[[he:משטרה]]
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[[hu:Rendőr]]
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[[it:Polizia]]
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[[ja:桜田門組]]
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[[nl:Smeris]]
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[[no:Politi]]
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[[pt:Polícia]]
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[[ru:Несловарь:П#.D0.9F.D0.BE.D0.BB.D0.B8.D1.86.D0.B8.D1.8F]]
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[[sv:Polis]]
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[[th:ตำกวด]]
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[[zh:警察]]
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[[zh-tw:警察]]
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Wersja z 21:07, 9 maj 2010

Policja się sprzedaje
Policja ma wiele przywilejów...
Plik:Jpwtibi.gif
Nawet CipSoft nie lubi policjantów

Mamy tradycję, jebać policję!

Polska tradycja kontynuowana przez elitę społeczeństwa

CHWDP!

Dresiarz o policji

Nienawiść do policji tak zostałem wychowany,ten kto z nimi trzyma na zawsze jest przegrany!

Hemp-Gru o Policji
Plik:Agentzkurnika2.jpg
Policja ma także swoich agentów na Kurniku

Policja – największy zbrojny gang na świecie. Posiada ponad 100 000 członków w Polsce (więcej niż Pruszków i Wołomin razem wzięte), oraz miliony na świecie. Zazwyczaj używana do rozpędzania różnych manifestacji, np. meczu. Uzbrojeni w pałki, pistolety kaliber 9mm i gwizdki. Ich pojazdy to radiowozy, lepiej rozpoznawane pod nazwą suki. Ubrani są zazwyczaj na granatowo. W przeciwieństwie do innych gangów, oni są najbardziej rozpoznawalni, głównie przez święcący żółty napis na plecach.

Policja znana jest z tego, że nigdy nie negocjuje z wrogiem, strzela od razu i nie wypłaca gotówki. Poza tym nie sprawdza amunicji i tak używa tylko pistoletów na kapiszony. Posiadają też koguty szkolone specjalnie do wykradania kiełbasy z kanapek kolegów. Policjanci przeważnie się nudzą więc na komisariacie (wyłącznie z nudów) prostują banany (kolegów lub skazanych). Czynności te to rutyna wśród „policyjnej społeczności”. Jednym ze świąt policji jest Tłusty Czwartek.

Policjanci wykazują tendencję do spisywania obywateli za takie rzeczy, jak naplucie sąsiadowi pod drzwi, jazda po piwku na rowerku, a także obraza policjanta, który też jest pijany po korespondencji z prostytutką.

Należy pamiętać, iż kiedy banda dresów napadnie Cię pod Mostem Królowej Jadwigi w Poznaniu, to w pobliżu nie będzie żadnego policjanta, ale kiedy w tym samym miejscu wypijesz jedno piwo, to niezwłocznie pojawi się niebieski pojazd, a cena piwa wzrośnie o 100 zł, jeżeli będziesz zbyt agresywnie przyjmował „dodatkowy paragon za piwo” stróże prawa natychmiast poproszą Cię do niebieskiej limuzyny i dadzą Ci bilet (oczywiście płatny) do hotelu z kratkami, w którym będziesz bezpieczny jak nigdy.

Policja posiada również jedną charakterystyczną cechę, która zdecydowanie upodabnia ją do kobiety, a mianowicie mężczyźni bardzo lubią ją jebać. Można nawet rzec, że policja przewyższa kobietę atrakcyjnością, gdyż wielu mężczyzn notorycznie przypomina sobie za pomocą energicznego pokrzykiwania, że należy ją jebać.

Rasy psów

  • Niebieski mundurek z czapką – typowy krawężnik, najlepszy od wypisywania biletów, których opłatę uiszczasz najczęściej na poczcie.
  • Czarny ninja – bogatsza wersja mundurowego posiada Uzi i miecz świetlny zwany blondyna.
  • Biały kask – ulubieńcy kibiców, charakteryzują się białymi nakryciami głowy oraz przeźroczystymi tarczami a'la ZOMO, posiadają wiatrówki.
  • Biurowy – on obsmaruje pięknie Twoją kartotekę, żebyś w przyszłości był rozpoznawany.
  • Biała czapa, Drogowy - ulubieniec polskich kierowców. Stworzony do wlepiania mandacików. Stojąc przy drodze z samochodem skitranym w krzakach i czerwonym lizakiem nie do lizania! Zapraszamy do Poloneza.
  • Bez ubioru, tzn. jak zwykły człowiek - gdy ktoś będzie Cie bił, nie podejdzie. Gdy zapalisz na przystanku, pokaże Ci odznakę. Następnie narzuci dodatkową akcyzę na papierosa ( około 50-100 zł ).

Zobacz też

Szablon:Stubpra