Zapasy w oleju: Różnice pomiędzy wersjami
Ostrzyciel (dyskusja • edycje) M (blacha) |
(you have been raided) |
||
| Linia 1: | Linia 1: | ||
{{medal}} |
|||
{{Błe}} |
|||
[[Plik:Oilwrestling.jpg|thumb|250px|Totalnie z niczym się to nie kojarzy]] |
|||
'''Zapasy w oleju''' ([[język turecki|tur]]. ''Yağlı güreş'', w tłumaczeniu sponsorowanym przez amerykańskie [[Google]] ''Zapasy ropy''<ref>Ciekawe kiedy Amerykanie będą chcieli zaprowadzić demokrację w Tur… a, w 2015 próbowali</ref>) – totalnie niemający nic wspólnego z homoseksualizmem narodowy sport turecki. Polega na tym, że dwóch wysmarowanych olejem facetów w skórzanych portkach siłuje się do momentu, w którym jeden będzie w stanie włożyć drugiemu rękę w spodnie. Uznawany jest za jeden z najstarszych <del>sposobów promocji homoseksualizmu</del> sportów znanych ludzkości, a zawody zapaśnicze we wsi Kırkpınar są najstarszym nieprzerwanie odbywającym się wydarzeniem <del>erotycznym</del> sportowym. W [[{{CURRENTYEAR}}]] roku odbyła się {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}}-1360}}. edycja konkursu. |
|||
ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata |
|||
== Jak doszło do tej abominacji? == |
|||
Turcy zawsze mieli hopla na punkcie zapasów, jednakże to szkole [[Grecja|greckiej]] zawdzięczamy najważniejszą innowację czyli zwyczaj smarowania ciała oliwą. Nie wyjaśniono czemu to ma służyć, ale najbardziej wiarygodna teoria zakłada, że olej miał podkreślać mięśnie zawodników, dzięki czemu były widoczne także dla słabiej widzących, co było szczególnie istotne, gdyż powszechnie wiadomo, że od [[masturbacja|masturbacji]] się ślepnie. |
|||
you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided vvyou have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided |
|||
Do pierwszego spotkania szkół zapaśniczych doszło na dworach perskich satrapów, gdzie przyjął się zwyczaj zapasów na golasa. Zmieniło się to, kiedy szach [[islam|zislamizowanej]] Persji zauważył, że dwóch przepychających się gołych facetów o skórze błyszczącej od oliwy jest [[Kapitan Oczywisty|trochę mało islamskich]]. Zapytano o radę starych mistrzów tureckich szkół wrestlingu, co zrobić, aby zawody znów były ''halal''. Ci zaś szybko znaleźli odpowiedź i rzekli ''daj im skórzane porty, panie''. Szach jednakże obawiał się, że to nie spodoba sie to perskim możnym, którzy lubili oglądać gołych facetów, więc w ramach kompromisu zmieniono zasady i od teraz zwycięzcą był ten, kto wsadził przeciwnikowi rękę w spodnie. |
|||
W trakcie wojen bałkańskich Turcy stracili Kırkpınar na rzecz podłych [[Bułgaria|Bułgarów]], więc zapaśnicy przenieśli się do ruin pałacu sułtana w Edırne. Obecnie zawody odbywają się w szczerym polu pod miastem<ref>Jednakże pole nie jest zbyt szczere, gdyż przemilczało, że wielokrotny mistrz Ali Gürbüz jechał na dopingu. Turecki sąd skazał pole na dwa lata więzienia w zawieszeniu</ref>, gdyż pałac służy teraz jako kolejny zabytek, w którym turyści mogą dołożyć swoją cegiełkę do budowy tureckiego PKB. |
|||
<br> |
|||
== Przebieg zawodów == |
|||
raided by derpmc.pl |
|||
Historycznie rzecz biorąc każde zawody mają swojego sponsora, nazywanego agą, który zapewnia kawałek pola i nagrody. Zwyczajowo na zawodach, tak samo jak w wypadku każdego ważnego wydarzenia w Turcji, umieszcza się także wielki portret [[Atatürk]]a i kilka tureckich flag o skromnych wymiarach 6 na 9 metrów. Następnie skrzykuje się publiczność, za co tradycyjnie odpowiada grupa dbająca o tzw. oprawę artystyczną. Najczęściej jest to kilku ludzi w strojach z epoki wczesnoosmańskiej uzbrojonych w bębny, którzy chodzą po okolicznych wsiach robiąc dużo hałasu i drąc ryja o szóstej rano, najczęściej w niedzielę. Czasem na zawodach mniejszej rangi pomija się stroje ludowe, a bębny zastępuje patelnią i łyżką<ref>Niektórzy uważają to nawet za bardziej skuteczne rozwiązanie</ref>. |
|||
Gdy już lud się zbierze i łaskawie odstąpi od mordu na krzykaczach, następuje otwarcie ceremonii, na które składa się część artystyczna, która polega na dalszym waleniu w bęben lub [[Patelnia|patelnię]] oraz grze na [[Flet|flecie]]. Dopiero po tym wszystkim rozpoczynają się pojedynki zapaśnicze, toczone przy akompaniamencie jednostajnego walenia w bęben. Zawodnicy zapowiadani są krótkimi wierszami tworzonymi na żywca przez najlepszego poetę w całej wsi, więc często będących działami sztuki folklorystycznej. W polskich warunkach mogłyby wyglądać choćby tak: |
|||
''<poem>[[Arka Gdynia]] ku{{cenzura3}}a świnia |
|||
Zenek bić się zaczyna</poem>'' |
|||
Pojedynek trwa zazwyczaj do momentu, w którym zawodnik wymaca przeciwnikowi jaja, jednakże w 1975 wprowadzono zasadę, że walka nie może trwać dłużej niż 40 minut. Zwycięzca otrzymuje tytuł ''Başpehlivan'' (''Wielki Macacz Jaj'') oraz zgarnia nagrodę. |
|||
Obecnie nagrodą są głównie pieniądze, dawniej zdarzały się też kury, jako nawiązanie do tytułu. Nagroda wręczana jest najczęściej przez gościa specjalnego zaproszonego przez agę. W Edırne jest to najczęściej ważna polityczna figura, np. prezydent, premier lub lider partii, a odmowa czynienia honorów jest odbierana przez naród jako zniewaga. Gdy [[Recep Tayyip Erdoğan|Erdoğan]] na początku swojego panowania jako młody i niedoświadczony premier odmówił gościny, a przy okazji nazwał zawodników homoseksualistami, wszakże ''kto inny chciałby macać drugiego faceta po jajach, ewentualnie tyłku… chyba tylko Grecy'', wybuchły niewielkie protesty, w których uczestniczyło kilka milionów ludzi, domagając się dymisji, demobilizacji i [[Kara śmierci|dekapitacji]] wodza. Premier przeprosił i natychmiast pojechał uścisnąć <del>jaja</del> dłoń Wielkiemu Macaczowi Jaj. |
|||
== Zapasy w oleju poza Turcją == |
|||
[[Plik:Sun Club Hot Oil Wresting 2012-01.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A ci [[Stany Zjednoczone Ameryki|Amerykanie]] jak zwykle wszystko spieprzyli…]] |
|||
Poza Turcją zawody odbywają się głównie w zachodnioeuropejskich [[gej]]klubach oraz w innych tego typu okolicznościach. Zawody w kobiecej wersji możemy za to obejrzeć w USA. Obie formy wywołują frustrację u lokalnych przedstawicieli mniejszości tureckiej, przez co muszą się oni wyżywać na [[Kurdowie|Kurdach]], wszakże każdy psychoterapeuta powie, że duszenie w sobie negatywnych emocji jest niewskazane. Negatywnych następstw psychicznych duszenia Kurdów natomiast nie stwierdzono. |
|||
== Zobacz też == |
|||
* [[wrestling]] |
|||
* [[futbol amerykański]] |
|||
* [[sumo]] |
|||
{{Przypisy}} |
|||
[[Kategoria:Sporty walki]] |
|||
[[Kategoria:Turcja]] |
|||
Wersja z 16:44, 3 maj 2020
ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata
you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided vvyou have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided you have been raided
raided by derpmc.pl
