Hip-hop

Z Nonsensopedii, polskiej encyklopedii humoru

Hip-hop – kultura stworzona przez czarnych i latynoskich gangstas w latach 70. XX wieku. Składają się na nią rap, DJing, breakdance i graffiti. W Polsce ktokolwiek w szerokich spodniach nosi miano hiphopowca, rzadziej Skjiejta.


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Elementy hip-hopu

  • Rap – można gadać długo i bez sensu, ale – szczególnie na wolnym – nie wypada przerwać słowotoku. Zalecana jest wada wymowy, gigantyczne problemy z emisją głosu, szczękościsk lub niedomykanie ust oraz pomijanie połowy spółgłosek.
  • DJing – DJ hiphopowy ma niewiele do roboty, jeżeli jeździ z raperem lub trzema, bo ma gotowe podkłady, ale jeżeli zaczyna interesować się turntablizmem, to robota pali mu się w rękach, a żeby nie stracić kroci na płyty, skreczuje na starych bajkach.
  • Breakdance – zwichnij sobie nadgarstek już dziś! B-boye i fly-girls ćwiczą, aby zrobić podwójny mostek, złapać się przez plecy za kostkę lub do poczciwego tańca robota dodać element gangsta motherfuckerskich pogróżek wobec przeciwników.
  • Graffiti – można malować graffiti na legalu, ale większość osiedlowych ekip robi to na zasadzie „zataguj się na klatówie” i w długą. Można też chodzić na pociągi i uciekać przed sokistami.

Wartość hip-hopu

Za pomocą kilku prostych obliczeń można dowiedzieć się jaka jest prawdziwa wartość hiphopu. Wiadomo nam, że z połączenia hiphopu i rocka powstał gatunek rapcore. Wzór:


Dzieląc obustronnie przez (rapcore - rock - hiphop)[1], otrzymujemy:

(tak, bez sensu)

Podstawiamy (rock + hiphop) za rapcore:

(znów bez sensu, ale nie zwracajmy na to uwagi)

Odejmując rock, otrzymujemy:

Przypisy

  1. I nie zwracając uwagi na to, że , jeśli odejmiemy i od początkowego równania.


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