Papież
Ja w przeciwieństwie do papieża, jestem katolikiem!
- Janusz Korwin Mikke o papieżu
Papież (z sanskr. „papa” – grzech, wat. papjesch) – męska forma od papieżyca, a osobowa od papier. Władca państwa Watykańskiego, w którym jest on monarchą absolutnie absolutnym i nieomylnym, do tego utrzymuje, że ma tę władzę z woli Boga[1]. Współpracuje z Duchem Świętym, który czasem szepcze mu na ucho zalecając nowe dogmaty. Jeśli papież coś postanowi – Duch Święty musi tego usłuchać: gdy papież zniósł dogmat o otchłani, do której trafiają nieochrzczone dzieci, Duch Święty musiał ją zlikwidować. To następstwo faktu, iż papież jest nieomylny, o czym mówi także jeden z dogmatów. Nikt nie wie czy był nieomylny już zanim powstał dogmat nieomylności, ale chyba tak, bo jeśli nie, dogmat ten nie byłby wiarygodny już sam w sobie. Należy więc jasno powiedzieć, że wszyscy papieże, również Ci powołujący do życia różne święte inicjatywy (takie jak krucjaty, czy Inkwizycja) mieli niepodważalną rację i działali pod natchnieniem Ducha Świętego. Warto zauważyć, że nawet jeśli jeden papież wprost stwierdza, że drugi się mylił, to i tak obaj mają rację. Niezbadane są ścieżki Pana.
Papież ma mnóstwo uprawnień, może przemawiać do ludzi, pozwalać się całować w pierścień i przyjmować podarki od władców i prezydentów z całego świata. Z tych ciekawszych, może dawać ekskomuniki, klątwy, zakazy odpustów i, co najgorsze, podnieść dziesięcinę.
W celu uproszczenia powyższego naukowo-encyklopedycznego języka można porównać papieża do Papy Smerfa. Jego zadaniem jest wyznaczać prawa, pilnować i bronić tłumu małych, naiwnych, niebieskich stworków przed wysłańcami złych mocy.
KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA PZIDA
Przysłowia
- Być w Rzymie i papieża nie widzieć – być noobem i ciotą.
- Być bardziej katolicki niż sam papież – być katolikiem w Polsce.
- Papież jest cierpliwy – możesz mu gadać, co chcesz. Zazwyczaj jest stary i nie słyszy.
- Papież się nie rumieni – papież ma gdzieś, co o nim napisało Bravo, bo może obłożyć je ekskomuniką.
Formy grzecznościowe i zwroty w stosunku do papieża
- Panie papieżu – polecane dla Żydów i sympatyków.
- Obywatelu papieżu – polecane dla komunistów bez pochodzenia żydowskiego.
- Proszę pana – zwrot zalecony dla osób wyznających poprawność polityczną.
- Wasza ekscelencjo – głównie dla lizusów i innych dupowłazów
Język watykański
- Główny artykuł: Język watykański
Za rządów papieża Benedykta XVI językiem urzędowym w Watykanie był język watykański. Mimo że jest on już wymarłym językiem (od kiedy papież zrobił sobie wolne abdykował), warto poświęcić chwilę na zgłębienie artykułu o nim.
Transport
Poprzedni papieże nie potrafili się teleportować, więc poruszali się przy pomocy pojazdu Papamobile.[2] W rzeczywistości pojazd ten jest przybyłym z kosmosu transformerem, który zstąpił na ziemię, żeby ochraniać jej mieszkańców i wytłumaczyć o co chodzi z tą miłością bliźniego. Transformer ten może przybierać różne kształty: autobusu MZK, ortodoksyjnego meczetu lub czołgu.
Papamobile ma rejestrację SAT666 i może rozwinąć zawrotną prędkość 666 km/h, jednak w związku z tym, że w Watykanie obowiązuje zakaz jazdy samochodem, papież może nim jeździć tylko po zakupy do Rzymu[3]
Historia transportu papieży
Na przestrzeni wieków możemy zaobserwować, że papieże przemieszczali się już prawie każdym możliwym środkiem lokomocji, np.:
- św. Piotr – na piechotę, również po wodzie;
- św. Linus – promem kosmicznym;[4]
- św. Cletus – dzięki mocy tworzącej laserowy dysk napędzany napędem pulsarowym;
- św. Pius I – na wielkim, zmutowanym gołębiu, uratowanym wprost z Arki Noego;
- św. Pius II – na dwóch takich gołębiach;
- św. Urban – miejskim autobusem, a w nocy taksówką;
- św. Marek – na szczerozłotym koniu, którego ufundowali mu parafianie;
- św. Bonifacy – łodzią podwodną lub na hulajnodze;
- św. Grzegorz I – podróżował z taborem cygańskim;
- św. Leon II – Airbusem;[5]
- Aleksander VI – jeździł na własnej córce
- Pius XII – czołgiem;
- Jan XXIII – złotą karetą zaprzężoną w sześć szczerozłotych koni;
- Paweł VI – na smoku ziejącym ogniem;
- Jan Paweł I – jako wersja demo nie posiadał środka lokomocji;
- Jan Paweł II – na transformersie, zwanym też Papamobilem;
- Benedykt XVI – posiadł zdolność teleportacji, jednak nadal jeździ papamobilem.
- Franciszek – przemieszcza się pieszo, w internecie, także telepatycznie pomiędzy umysłami. Posiada zdolność psychokinezy, jeździ renault 4, ewentualnie papamobilem JPII
Słynni papas
- Papa Smerf
- Jan Paweł II
- Benedykt XVI
- Papa Dance
- Papa – materiał budowlany (używany też w innych celach)
- Papa Roach – zespół folkowy
- Papa Loulie – kucharz, który podejrzanie biega za pizzami. Występuje w grze Papa Loulie.
Galeria
Papież R2D2 podczas przemówienia w oknie swojej ubikacji
Zobacz też
Przypisy
- ↑ Inni bogowie, np. Latający Potwór Spaghetti i Allah, temu zaprzeczają
- ↑ z łaciny ruchomy ojciec. Nazwa sugeruje, że papież potrafi się poruszać. Nie każdy może tak powiedzieć o swoim starym, gdy widzi go leżącego z browarem na kanapie.
- ↑ W Watykanie nie obowiązuje zakaz handlu w niedzielę, ale też nie ma tam żadnych sklepów.
- ↑ do mniejszych parafii docierał na spadochronie wprost z troposfery.
- ↑ przeżył prawie wszystkie katastrofy.